Simple Freedom | Let Go of Patterns That Hurt You

Monday, November 28, 2011 12:37 PM

This week, put forth a concerted effort to change a self-destructive habit.

Don't overpromise.  Keep it simple.  Zone in on something, maybe a negative thought pattern that you can target and make a conscious effort to let go.

I'll share mine with you. Ever since I became a mother, I've had issues with anxiety.

I've gone to therapy about it, prayed about it, and I talk and write about it. These things help tremendously, but it's something I have to manage everyday. I don't want it to hold me back, you know?

I want to overcome it and to stop indulging in the negative thought patterns that bring it about.

When I don't attend to it, my feelings of anxiety turn into bouts of depression and sadness. I feel anxiety over everything from the air quality in my home (my kids are always sniffling!), to whether or not my daughters will be affected by the mental illness that runs in my family (I'm always looking for "signs" in my older daughter), to when someone doesn't say hello to me (are they mad at me?!). Some things I can control, and other things I can't control, change or predict. Perhaps you can relate. Perhaps it sounds like crazy talk.   Either way, we all have our stuff.

The way I deal with my anxiety is to keep my thoughts and my surroundings as positive as possible. I don't spend time with negative people, I read uplifting books and blogs, I listen to positive music. I love to be silly and laugh and find the silver lining in everything. I'm a positivity junkie and proud of it. I'm learning to not internalize every piece of bad news that I hear (talked about that here under STOP). I'm learning to be just a bit detached, in a healthy way, from the nuances of life because I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and we only cause ourselves to suffer when we try to control and rationalize everything.

What behavior can you target this week to improve your state of mind? Here are some ideas:

*Do you check your partners' text messages/emails/voicemails and then obsess over them?
*Do you spend money beyond your means and then feel guilty afterwards?
*Do you indulge in gossip and complaining and then feel bad about the negative feelings that remain with you afterwards?
*Do you have a grudge against someone that you need to let go?

Whatever it is, search yourself and target that thing. Remember the bad feelings and self-loathing that will result from indulging in it - then choose to respond to that urge differently.

Remember that the goal is to empower yourself to be free of anything that distracts you from being your best self. I know I can do it and I know you can do it. xoxo