A Quick Note + A Simple Freedom

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 5:36 PM

I had a great bun day on Sunday for my coffee date with Kim,  Tiffani and Kristen
The next day I attempted this again and it looked crazy.  I hate it when that happens. Anyway, this post has nothing to do with this, but I wanted to share. :)

A Quick Note to My Blog Family:

Hey Fam!  I've been so proud of myself for consistently posting Simple Freedom every Monday and now I've missed the last two Mondays (doh!) Oh well.  I'm going to continue to try to stick to it as best I can.  I considered waiting until next Monday to post this one but I couldn't wait.  :)  I'm sure by then I'll have some other topic that will be nagging me to write about it. 

Anyway, please be patient with me as my posting will definitely be more sporadic over the next few months.  My job is always very demanding at the beginning of the year and on top of that I have to take the Series 7 exam by March.  I already have the Series 6 and 63, so I know I'll need a good 6 weeks to read all of the material and then do practice exams over and over.   Anyway, I'll have to sacrifice some writing time over the next couple months.  When there's nothing new here, you can find my writing over at Peace Love and Pretty Things and every other week on Curly Nikki for Self-Concept Thursdays.  You can also find me on Twitter...well sometimes. ;-)

Now for this week's Simple Freedom...

Simple Freedom | Face Your Fears

I noticed a theme in the comments left on this post.  For most of us, fear plays some type of role in why we do or don't do things.  Here are snippets from some of the comments:

"...In 2012 I would like to start school I would like to stop telling myself I can't do certain things..."

"...would love to stop myself from giving into fear...really anxious to learn how to use this emotion to propel me forward rather than back. It's always been a natural reaction to run the other way...but 2011 has taught me that it's important to walk through the fear and use it as a positive force. On the other hand, it could just mean we are all on the right track when it creeps up...so there's now an added sense of excitement when I think of a crazy idea that both scares me and gives me goosebumps!"

"...I've successfully lost 75 pounds, but gained 10 of it back, so now I want to finish what I started a two years ago. No reason why I shouldn't. I need to stop giving into fear of accomplishment."

These comments and my own intention to have a clearer understanding of the role of fear in my life led me to explore the subject this week. 

*Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
~Marie Curie

Once I became aware that fear was affecting my choices, I really didn't know what to do about it.  I guess I had to just sit with that awareness for awhile.  In some aspects of my life, I'm still sitting with it.  What I have developed though, is a passion for breaking down my fears and negative patterns so that I can understand them.  If something bothers me,  I'm determined to figure out why and make peace with it so it can't control me.  It doesn't always happen as quickly as I want, but this is where I remind myself that it's about the journey not the destination.

Several years ago, I went through a phase when I was obsessed with the idea that my significant other was cheating on me.  Obsessed, I tell you.  I thought about it all the time and I started going through his phone.  I had a couple of girlfriends at work who did this all the time, so I got caught up in their logic and made myself believe that this was something I needed to do to avoid being played for a fool.

I hated the way I felt about myself during that time.  All I knew was that I didn't want to feel that way anymore.  Who wants to be in a relationship where they have to check their man's texts and emails in order to feel secure?  Certainly not me. It took me some painful soul searching to figure out how I'd gotten to that place, but once I understood it, I was able to free myself of that hurtful obsession. And trust, it was about ME not HIM.  (Some of you may have similar insecurities in your relationship or marriage or perhaps you have in the past.  I plan to do a whole post on this topic sometime soon. I touched on the origin of these feelings here.)

*Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.
~Henry S. Haskins

One of the commenters above mentions a sense of excitement that comes from a crazy idea that scares her and also gives her goosebumps (the good kind!).  That's the kind of scary that we shouldn't avoid.  There's probably something you want to do that gives you goosebumps, but you're afraid to do it.  

For instance, I want to be a writer.  But the idea of writing for a living completely freaks me out.  I love to write, but what if I stop loving it when I start doing it for money?  Sometimes we're not afraid of the thing itself, but we're afraid of the process of getting there.  My suggestion would be to just start.  Do something to bring you a step closer.  My start has been blogging and guest posting.  I'm just beginning to realize that this is my purpose and I'm taking it more seriously.  What's next?  The possibilities give me those good goosebumps, so I'm going to keep writing.

*There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.
~George S. Patton

Since we all must deal with fear on some level, there comes a time when we must discern between the fear that can push us forward and the fear that can hold us back.  The answers are already there inside of us if we only listen.  It's called intuition.  When there's something positive and challenging that you want to do with your life, that's when it's time to take fear by the hand and bring it along with you   Recognize the nervous energy for what it is and allow it to fuel you.  Likewise, when your inner voice tells you that you're heading down the wrong path, believe it.  Trust yourself.

*Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. ~Betty Bender

To free yourself from that frustrating inertia that comes from fear, learn to recognize the difference between the excited goosebumps and the warning signs and consider letting fear be your friend.  No?  Frenemy maybe?  No matter how you look at it, remember that with great risk comes great reward. 

If you have a testimony about a time that you overcame fear or a time that you used it to your advantage, please share in the comments.  I'd love to hear about it.