Tuesday, July 24, 2012 6:55 PM
Experience takes time.
Experiencing life for myself has always been my preference. Usually, I decide to experience things before I even have a firm grasp of what I'm getting myself into. If it feels like I need to do it to become a wiser person, then I do it. It's a blessing and a curse.
It's a blessing because I make my own decisions and I know that I won't truly feel settled in a situation that I was forced into against my own judgment. But I also perceive it as a curse, because I put myself through a lot of heartache when I'm trying to figure things out. I annoy myself with my humanness.
Because I want to do it all. If I could I would find a way to avoid sleeping altogether I would. So I could put those hours towards something that seems more productive. Time is one of life's currencies. I can't circumvent it, no matter how I try. What am I willing to give up in order to "have it all"? What is the cost?
We are living in a time when we have so much access to each other's lives. We see what everyone else is doing and we get distracted from what we are doing. Even if you know how to juggle, you will eventually start dropping balls if you are trying to juggle your own life and your own passions along with those of everyone else.
I want you to remember to stay in your own skin and experience life for yourself. What can you do right now? Really? What is it you truly want right now at this time in your life? How much will it cost you and do you have the capacity to enjoy it and relish it?
For me, it's like being in my favorite store and seeing five shirts that I absolutely LOVE. I can't decide between them. I want to feel all of them on me. I see myself wearing them with different pants and skirts and I want everyone to see me in all of them, so I buy all of them. The only problem is, I really don't have enough money for all of them. I start rationalizing in my mind how I can pay this bill late or cut back on something to make up for the amount I overspent. Now, I have the shirts, but I also have the guilt, the regret and the debt that I bought myself right along with the damn shirts. If only I had lived within my means.
Don't oversaturate your life by trying to do it all - all at once. Is that what you really want? Just to say you did it? Just to feel the gratification? Or do you want to really feel the process, experience it, and remember it so you can one day tell the tale. "I dreamt this, I prayed this, I nurtured this, and I achieved this." That's what I want. Authentic and meaningful experiences. I want that for every single one of my endeavors - whether it's being a devoted mother or being a successful writer.
And why should we resist the honesty of time? The nature of time is to prevent everything from happening at once. And I don't want my everything to happen at once. I don't know about you, but my favorite part of a climax is the ascent.