{Past Tense} Blindspots

Friday, August 24, 2012 12:00 PM




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I have these blind spots, see. I suppose we all do. I can't (won't) see them until someone points them out to me. When these blind spots are pointed out, I usually feel hurt, salty, exposed, misunderstood, guilty, whatever...I could go on...I've got an emotion for everything.

So anyway, being in a relationship is like welcoming someone into your life to constantly point out your blind spots. Sometimes I want to see them, and sometimes I just don't. Sometimes I want to be babied. I want the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I want to be allowed to do and say things that would piss me off if they were said or done to me. Sometimes, I want to be faultless.

But I do resist. I resist the urge to counter every observation with an observation of my own. I resist the urge to go tit for tat. Grrrrr. This is not easy.

He insists that I see myself even when I don't want to. He doesn't back down or try to protect me from myself. He wrestles with my nerves. Sharpens my awareness of how I affect people. How I affect him. My antagonist and my helper.

I do have these blind spots. I know I do. I'm trying to see them but it hurts my eyes and gives me a headache. I really am working on it though. That's all anyone can do.

I can see his blind spots from a mile away with a blindfold on. Funny how that works. 

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What is {Past Tense}?  It's explained here.