Two Days in a Row

Wednesday, October 10, 2012 2:32 AM

I have no business being up.  Seriously.  Somehow, my priorities are never clearly defined.  Today, I had to go to work and run to the mall across the street to buy a pair of pants because I didn't have any clean pants or skirts or dresses or muumuus for that matter to wear today.  Did I wash clothes when I got home?  No.  

I checked homework, danced around in the kitchen, fed the family, bathed the girls, then laid in the bed with them until we all fell asleep.  That was four hours ago.  Now, I'm up.

I started a Tumblr, chicas.  I'm still figuring out how it works and how to flow on it, but I think it's going to be a good thing.  Words have been coming to me only in snippets lately, plus I'm in a very visual place.   So, there it is.  Do you have a tumblr? 

Can I wear the same pants tomorrow that I wore today?  That's what's going to happen.  I work hard.  I commute.  I open my mail - some of it - once a month.   I'm doing this responsible adult thing and somehow relishing it despite my visceral rejection of it.  Keep in mind, the pants are not black.  If they were black, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. 

I always leave room for a little chaos.  I put things (like laundry and dry cleaning) to the back of my mind until I'm ready to deal with them.  I flex, I bend, I don't break.  I've decided that this is not a flaw.  This is a survival tactic that helps me manage the complexity of my life.  Why should I hide my chaos?  My untogetherness? 

This is the real me.  The art of raising kids is chaotic, complex and messy.  Sticky things, legos, naked barbies - they are all around me.    At least the pants don't have any sticky finger markings or wiped nose smears on them.  As far as I know.

I'm going to bed now.   Tomorrow, I'm wearing the same damn pants I wore today.  I'll consider wearing a different shirt.  I'm pretty sure that the one I wore today is in a ball at the bottom of my bed.